Women's Issues Midlife And Beyond
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. –From an Irish headstone” He sat in the front row, head bent forward, listening as the chaplain ‘s eulogy both soothed and disturbed his blessed mental fog. His wife was gone. Too soon. Too young. Seated next to the man were his two sons,… Read More
“What would you be glad you did–even if you failed?” –Brene Brown Note from Gail…I wrote this as a guest blogger on http://www.agingbutdangerous.com about a year ago. Since my hunky hubby and I are taking some time away from technology this week, I thought a repost was in order! Stories To Tell You just knew she had stories to… Read More
Dog and Butterfly Lyrics by Heart We’re getting older the world’s getting colder For the life of me I don’t know the reason why Maybe it’s livin’ making us give in Hearts rolling in taken back on the tide We’re balanced together ocean upon the sky Another night in this strange town Moonlight holding me light as down Voice of… Read More
“When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.†–Bette Davis Cathy, a trim and attractive woman, age 75, leaned in close before whispering, “I always find it interesting who we give our power to.†She then cocked her head and gazed at a group of men sitting at a nearby… Read More
Do you know someone who is a natural storyteller? Someone who lures your attention, captures it, and never lets go? I do. It’s my son. Over the years, he has told me stories that have left me breathless from laughing and crying. He has a way of using facial inflection and voice variations that bring his words to life. Let… Read More
“Do I need to lighten up?†My husband said this as he dropped onto the couch with a plop that screamed exhaustion. His weariness stemmed from the weeks-long attempt to improve our high-speed Internet service through Century Link. At least, that was the surface reason. I believe his fatigue also has to do with identity and purpose as he reinvents… Read More
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” — Unknown U R a QT! Bee My Valentine? The box of pre-cut Valentine’s Day cards spewed across the table, and I was in a bad mood. Mom had made the purchasing decision, and clearly she did NOT understand second-grade relationship rules. How could I stuff a card that said, I choo-choo-choose… Read More
She drifted over to my booth like a gentle breeze on an otherwise blustery day. “I want to buy one of your scarves,†she said. “I’ve walked around to the other vendors and believe yours are the best quality and style.†I was flattered, of course. Anita Regina Scepurek is a veteran artist and vendor. Her current media is fused glass,… Read More
I found a money back guarantee on a beauty cream. Rushed down to the store. They took one look at me and paid me in advance. Phyllis Diller, stand-up routine, 1978 “It’s easy to see why you wear makeup. You just weren’t born a natural beauty like your sister and me.†Mom loved to appraise and to hurt. Over my… Read More
A Stop and Smell the Roses Moment! I follow an interesting, kind, young woman named Amber Vilhauer. Â Per her website:Â Amber Vilhauer (formerly Ludwig) is an online business development expert who supports authors, speakers and coaches to establish a powerful, integrated online presence that gets results and empowers them to make a difference in their industry. Today she sent out an… Read More
“No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any educational program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.” Sweat, Tears, and All Too Few Cheers My knees bore the raw watery marks that come when you leave your skin on the… Read More
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” – Octavia Butler Tammy. One of those high school friends who had it all. Gorgeous… Read More
When I was a child, and everyone over the age of 18 seemed ancient, I used to wonder why married couples yelled at each other so often. Didn’t they like each other? Were they perpetually angry? Was this what love mutates into over time? Now that I’m in Midlife I have a new take on the yelling. I’ve discovered being… Read More
Her vehicle pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot and I could barely make out her hand wildly waving at me. Nearly thirty years had passed since we’d last talked, and it was thirty years too long. Who was she now? Who was I? It’s hard to say why we lost track of each other. Tammy was a year behind me… Read More
The art fair wound down and customers drifted towards the generous tasting counter at North Folk Winery. It was, after all, “cocktail-thirty,†as my friend Janice says. Nearby, music wafted from a tent shading a potpourri of musicians and hip-shaking guests. It had been a sunny day, a good day, but it was time to put away our scarves, photography,… Read More
“I’m calling you a slut, slut, because you are one.†The young man hissed his judgment at a female companion as they walked through a local Target parking lot. There were six teenagers in the pack, I’m guessing one or two years shy of having their driver’s licenses.  They were being boisterous, as if wanting attention and yet defying anyone… Read More
“We’re having Buddha Bowls for supper,†said my normally understandable daughter. “Sound’s crunchy,†I thought. “I wonder if the bowls will be a tasty porcelain or a more filling Zen-like ceramic?†Oblivious to my snarky musings, she disappeared into the kitchen humming a riff of Blondie’s Call Me. Within minutes a sweet, spicy, aroma had me salivating, and Call Me was… Read More
Maybe You Really Can’t Go Home Thistles raked my skin, and I realized how foolish I was to wear shorts and flip-flops in a pasture gone wild. Too late now! I pushed forward through grass that looked down on my head, and had me praying I wouldn’t surprise a bear taking a late summer nap. My quest was to find… Read More
My Midlife Mess I used to clean beneath the refrigerator. It was never pretty, but at least a couple of times a year I temporarily banished the pretty–sure-they’re-not-moving-on-legs dust balls, cat hair, and runaway vitamins. As I was on my hands and knees sponging up the potpourri of ugly, Grandma’s voice was in my head saying, “You can do better!… Read More
Huh? Legs? Yes, legs. Plump, sturdy, dimply legs. And while I’m the poster child of midlife restlessness in general, I want to share with you what I’m doing to combat restless legs. Somewhere among the other menopausal symptoms…brain fog, hot flashes, headaches, sleeplessness, and weight gain…I thought, “Gee, surely there can be more for me to deal with at this… Read More
Picture this—a low-slung convertible that equates to sex on wheels is being driven down a scenic highway. The driver is wearing Ray-Bans, a smile, and an “I love my life†smile. Riding shotgun in the passenger seat is a dog. Maybe a dog wearing a scarf, or bandana, or even goggles…which I think should be called doggles… or maybe the… Read More
“Why are you here?†The man speaking at the front of the room pointed his finger at me. For a moment I considered pretending he meant the woman sitting next to me, but that finger didn’t waffle even a little. I stopped breathing. As an introvert, being singled out in a room full of people is a nightmare that lingers… Read More
Zzzzzzz. Â I wake up after eight hours of luxurious sleep, and still feel tired. Is it hormonal rebellion, age related fatigue, or what? Â As a long-term subscriber to Dr. David Williams‘ Alternatives newsletter, I found the following Q & A interesting. Â My salt of choice is Himalayan. Â Gone are the days of the little girl with an umbrella. I’m not… Read More
He wondered what kind of life it would be, having to keep swimming all the time to stay exactly in the same place. Pretty similar to his own, he decided.†― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic The patio umbrella slowly creaked open inch by inch despite the gusto used while cranking the handle. Just as the canopy reached its… Read More
Christiane Northrup sums it up nicely, “Until midlife, it is characteristic for a woman’s energies to be focused on caring for others. She is encouraged to do so, in part, by the hormones that drive her menstrual cycles—the hormones that foster her instincts for nurturing, her devotion to cohesion, and harmony within her world. But as a woman enters menopause… Read More
Midlife equates to hormonal changes. And hormonal changes now come from sources that didn’t exist generations ago.  For instance, we are living more and more in a world swimming in estrogen, and estrogen mimickers.  Xenoextrogens are in BPA, PCBs, flame retardants, pesticides, and herbicides. They are in rigid plastic cups, water bottles, and food storage containers. They are in toys, flooring, and shower… Read More
I have to admit, when I see women who seem to have by-passed the normal menopausal weight gain I wonder how they got so lucky. What is it in their genetic make-up that skips the estrogen storage in fat cells, and why didn’t my ancestors mate with that lineage? Ah well. One of the reasons women tend to gain weight,… Read More
My arms were almost elbow deep in dishwater suds.  “Why do I have to do this when I have a dishwasher?” I wondered.  Nonetheless, scrubbing the non-dishwater friendly object gave me a moment to appreciate all the items that do go in the dishwater, and a chance to gaze outside the window on a busy day.  It was  sunny, windy, and… Read More
As I just mentioned last week, the ebbs and flows of hormones embody menopause. Almost daily there is a new mystery, emotion, or awareness about this midlife phase.  And just as my journey into puberty was most likely different than yours, the menopausal experience is also as individual as the women undergoing the changes. The debate between using hormone replacements– or… Read More
Letting go of expectations, permission, and cultural detritus can leave menopausal women struggling for an identity. Do they continue as before—shrouded in a persona that tends to no longer fit—or do they allow themselves to revisit and explore aspects of themselves considered too self-serving during the childbearing years? As Dr. Northrup (2003) explains, “Caring for others and pursuing unexplored personal… Read More
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