Women's Issues Midlife And Beyond
Grandma stopped mid-sip and put her coffee cup down. Her eyes followed the lines of the ceiling as if the answer hid among the shadows above. “Why don’t you look in the bedroom closet? The one by the mirror?†Ewww. The closet.  The scary closet.  I was young, maybe eight years old, pajama-clad, and spending the night with her as… Read More
I found a money back guarantee on a beauty cream. Rushed down to the store. They took one look at me and paid me in advance. Phyllis Diller, stand-up routine, 1978 “It’s easy to see why you wear makeup. You just weren’t born a natural beauty like your sister and me.†Mom loved to appraise and to hurt. Over my… Read More
A Stop and Smell the Roses Moment! I follow an interesting, kind, young woman named Amber Vilhauer. Â Per her website:Â Amber Vilhauer (formerly Ludwig) is an online business development expert who supports authors, speakers and coaches to establish a powerful, integrated online presence that gets results and empowers them to make a difference in their industry. Today she sent out an… Read More
Picturing a Perfect Gathering, Getting Something Imperfectly Fine Instead I should be creating an apple pie right now, but I’m blogging. Why? Once I get into the kitchen and the flour storm arrives, it’s time to take refuge. I let go of my lists and focus on the pleasure of cutting into juicy apples, sifting aromatic cinnamon, and rolling dough… Read More
Five Ways You Can Improve Your Sleep at Midlife It’s 1 a.m. and your digital alarm clock is taunting you.  Those little blue numerical lights glow brightly in your wide-open eyeballs.  You close your eyes with stern force, hug your pillow for dear life, and will yourself to let go.  Sleep!  You NEED sleep.  Ten minutes later you find yourself… Read More
Weight…Wait! You pull your favorite pair of jeans out of the closet and discover that extra vigorous shimmying is required to pull them to your waist. What the ??? They fit fine last week. With a deep inhale you manage to snap the top, but the zipper teeth aren’t speaking to each other.  Self-loathing takes over and you begin planning your next… Read More
“No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any educational program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.” Sweat, Tears, and All Too Few Cheers My knees bore the raw watery marks that come when you leave your skin on the… Read More
A Natural Relief of Menopausal Symptoms? When I heard that question from a younger (as in non-menopausal) woman I was curious. What thing about eating yams? So, like any normal clueless person, I Googled it. As it turns out, it’s not so much about eating yams. It is, however, about as using wild yams as a progesterone promoting cream.  Huh?… Read More
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” – Octavia Butler Tammy. One of those high school friends who had it all. Gorgeous… Read More
When I was a child, and everyone over the age of 18 seemed ancient, I used to wonder why married couples yelled at each other so often. Didn’t they like each other? Were they perpetually angry? Was this what love mutates into over time? Now that I’m in Midlife I have a new take on the yelling. I’ve discovered being… Read More
Random Midlife Symptoms No, no, no. I am not old enough to be having these symptoms. Heck no. Just because I’m putting on weight for no apparent reason, and just because I’m not sleeping well, and, oh yeah, I’m sweating like a Lutheran who had no choice but to sit in the front pew at church, I’m not menopausal. I’m not…. Read More
 “The tibetan word for mandala is kyilkhor. Kyil means ‘center’, khor means ‘fringe’, ‘gestalt’, ‘area around’. …Things exist interdependently, and that interdependent existence of things happens in the fashion of orderly chaos.” –Chogyam Trungpa  Ka-pow! Have you ever been hit by a moment of mental clarity so overwhelming, so powerful, it felt physical? It happened to me recently. I was… Read More
Which defines your typical meal? A. Grab a plate out of the cabinet; dish up your food (hot dish? Skillet something or other?) in the kitchen, and then plop down somewhere convenient while watching television. B. Rip open the delivered box of pizza with your teeth because it smells Oh. So. Good. Pop the top off a bottle of beer,… Read More
Her vehicle pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot and I could barely make out her hand wildly waving at me. Nearly thirty years had passed since we’d last talked, and it was thirty years too long. Who was she now? Who was I? It’s hard to say why we lost track of each other. Tammy was a year behind me… Read More
“Give me an example of how women struggle with self-esteem.†Our professor stood in front of the class, scanning the room, waiting for answers. At first the silence hung as thick as fog over a swamp, but then a young woman tentatively raised her hand. “Go,†said the professor. “Well, um, my sister is really pretty, but she feels she’s… Read More
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.†~ Ayn Rand
Irish Spring soap for Restless Leg Syndrome? Whaaaa? My friend and wise woman, Valerie Lis, sent me that tip and I had to laugh. But, I also had to try it. It’s quirky! I like quirky! My RLS is reasonably managed by taking Padma, a Tibetan herbal supplement, but how could I pass up putting Irish Spring soap at the… Read More
Reassuring Reminders That We Are Enough As the panel of business-owning women discussed their paths to success, four (and ½) themes emerged. I thought I’d share them with you here.  0.5 of a Lesson My first thought was that I was disturbingly underdressed. There were 119 women in the room besides me. It seemed they had all gotten the memo about… Read More
My Midlife Mess I used to clean beneath the refrigerator. It was never pretty, but at least a couple of times a year I temporarily banished the pretty–sure-they’re-not-moving-on-legs dust balls, cat hair, and runaway vitamins. As I was on my hands and knees sponging up the potpourri of ugly, Grandma’s voice was in my head saying, “You can do better!… Read More
Huh? Legs? Yes, legs. Plump, sturdy, dimply legs. And while I’m the poster child of midlife restlessness in general, I want to share with you what I’m doing to combat restless legs. Somewhere among the other menopausal symptoms…brain fog, hot flashes, headaches, sleeplessness, and weight gain…I thought, “Gee, surely there can be more for me to deal with at this… Read More
A Better Way to Deliver Essential Oils Near Your Hoo-Ha Don’t you just love divine scents? I do. As consumers we’ve become rather accustomed to candles, room fresheners, and even dryer sheets with essential oils, but do we really understand what an essential oil is, or does, besides smell pretty? (Some do NOT smell pretty, but have wonderful properties!) I’d… Read More
“Why are you here?†The man speaking at the front of the room pointed his finger at me. For a moment I considered pretending he meant the woman sitting next to me, but that finger didn’t waffle even a little. I stopped breathing. As an introvert, being singled out in a room full of people is a nightmare that lingers… Read More
Zzzzzzz. Â I wake up after eight hours of luxurious sleep, and still feel tired. Is it hormonal rebellion, age related fatigue, or what? Â As a long-term subscriber to Dr. David Williams‘ Alternatives newsletter, I found the following Q & A interesting. Â My salt of choice is Himalayan. Â Gone are the days of the little girl with an umbrella. I’m not… Read More
Christiane Northrup sums it up nicely, “Until midlife, it is characteristic for a woman’s energies to be focused on caring for others. She is encouraged to do so, in part, by the hormones that drive her menstrual cycles—the hormones that foster her instincts for nurturing, her devotion to cohesion, and harmony within her world. But as a woman enters menopause… Read More
Midlife equates to hormonal changes. And hormonal changes now come from sources that didn’t exist generations ago.  For instance, we are living more and more in a world swimming in estrogen, and estrogen mimickers.  Xenoextrogens are in BPA, PCBs, flame retardants, pesticides, and herbicides. They are in rigid plastic cups, water bottles, and food storage containers. They are in toys, flooring, and shower… Read More
I have to admit, when I see women who seem to have by-passed the normal menopausal weight gain I wonder how they got so lucky. What is it in their genetic make-up that skips the estrogen storage in fat cells, and why didn’t my ancestors mate with that lineage? Ah well. One of the reasons women tend to gain weight,… Read More
As to bioidentical hormones vs. synthetic hormones for menopausal symptom relief, well, the information changes almost daily. I recently watched a documentary called HotFlash Havoc. The film makers claim they were not affiliated with any pharmaceutical companies, but I haven’t had time to check on that yet.  The message within HotFlash Havoc is that the Women’s Health Initiative Study started with good… Read More
I’ll share a quick story about a woman who is thirty years old. She recently told me she has yet to have a good experience with a doctor in her adult life. Like me, she has had a long history of irregular periods. I’ve suggested she have a hormone panel taken to see if there is any obvious cause. She… Read More
Sigh. Â Summer is such a fleeting moment in Minnesota. Â It’s hard not to get giddy with each phase. Â There’s the first 70 degree day, the first 80 degree day, the first why-did-I-want-this? 90 degree day, and the dreaded humid, too hot to breathe, slather my body in ice cream day. But I digress. Along with the rising temperatures, plants are… Read More
Over the past year I’ve had increasing hot flashes despite working with my practitioner and my compounding pharmacist. When I first started taking the bio-identical hormones six years ago my blood tests said I was in estrogen dominance while having very low progesterone and testosterone levels.  This is very common. After a discussion with my midwife practitioner I began taking progesterone and… Read More
