Women's Issues Midlife And Beyond
If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. – Johnny Carson Hot pink headphones. Soothing voice. Eclectic music selection. Sitting behind the desk in the “big chair,” Linda Cullen Gallagher keeps track of no less than four computer screens as well as a thick stack of on-air scheduling. And while she… Read More
An acquaintance of mine–I won’t mention your name Matt–suggested I write a piece about midlife sex and kegel exercises. I suspect his young-man brain explodes when he thinks about creaky women in midlife actually wanting sex, let alone performing wanton acts in the bedroom or anywhere else the notion leads (A Midlife Woman’s Trip To A Sex Shop). While I’m not… Read More
March 25, 2016 Does your partner/lover/spouse cringe when you say something like, “I have an idea. How about if…†Mine does. Heaven only knows why. The other day I got to thinking about how much I’ve always loved spring flooding. Winter is crabby about getting the boot and, as a result, spits and sputters and throws snow tantrums. Spring shrugs… Read More
Excerpt from the book: “When Jean jumped in 2000 at sixty years of age, with her dad, she muttered a reluctant, ‘no…no,’ as she and her tandem buddy instructor neared the open door of the airplane. He told her he thought she said, ‘Go, Go!’ (yeah, right), and so began her exhilarating 14,000-foot drop. She fell 174 feet per fabulous… Read More
 The New Ourselves, Growing Older by Doress-Worters, P. B., & Diana Laskin Siegal.  American women face an onslaught of images, remarks, advice, and shame concerning the process of aging. It is little wonder so many approach the forty year mark with dread, as that birthday draws the imaginary line in the sand between youthfulness and becoming old and… Read More
“Do I need to lighten up?†My husband said this as he dropped onto the couch with a plop that screamed exhaustion. His weariness stemmed from the weeks-long attempt to improve our high-speed Internet service through Century Link. At least, that was the surface reason. I believe his fatigue also has to do with identity and purpose as he reinvents… Read More
Bridget stared at the length of white, yet-to-be-touched, silk scarf with a frown that spoke volumes. Was it a 14 x 72 inch demon or wisp of possibility? She circled the fabric, dipped her brush in a puddle of blue dye, and stepped back. She sighed. “I’m afraid to start,†she said. “What if I screw it up?†Ah, midlife… Read More
“A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the… Read More
Picture the dilemma…an introvert wanders into a sex shop and hopes to learn what’s trending in the lives of midlife women and sexual escapades. Okay, so I didn’t wander in so much as sign up, but the rest is right. The superb Aging But Dangerous sent out an email blast that they would be hosting an evening of sexual discussion. Other… Read More
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. –Bernard Baruch It is impossible for me to write on this topic without bringing my experience with Mom into play. She was a stubborn woman who lived comfortably with denial. For instance, she insisted until the end of her life that cigarettes kept her alive, instead of creating… Read More
Have you ever felt bewildered by a response? You know, that moment when you thought this would happen but THAT happened instead? Well, I have, and it’s transpired more times than I can count. Here’s a case in point… The last two weekends I was an art vendor at Hosanna Lutheran Church, Forest Lake, MN. We’re raising funds to be… Read More
“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.” – CoraHarvey Armstrong Finances, Women, And Aging I grew up in a family that never saved. Part of the issue was the differing values placed on money by my parents. My dad liked to buy things with the belief they would be a sound investment…land, tractors, tools…. Read More
“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the… Read More
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” — Unknown U R a QT! Bee My Valentine? The box of pre-cut Valentine’s Day cards spewed across the table, and I was in a bad mood. Mom had made the purchasing decision, and clearly she did NOT understand second-grade relationship rules. How could I stuff a card that said, I choo-choo-choose… Read More
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” –Woody Allen Common Symptoms That Enhance Our Swearing Vocabulary Headaches (Not tonight, Dear) According to a symposium held to discuss the correlation between migraine headaches and menopause, women have up to five times as many migraine… Read More
Lynne Klippel’s question was direct. “How have wearing other people’s faces served you?†In my introverted, I-don’t-like-sharing-my-inner-feelings way, I froze for a second. I know I do put on masks, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to dissect the reasons. Particularly midlife masks. Sometimes mucking about in my inner-workings, my subconscious, is like realizing I’ve been living a hoarder’s lifestyle…. Read More
The American standard of beauty demands women appear slender. Constant media onslaughts display happy, sexy, glamorous women who are a size 0-2, and ridicule anyone breaking free of the cultural “rulesâ€. Oh sure, once in a rare while a female celebrity will have the nerve to show her face in public, smiling, proud of her Aphrodite curves.  No, no, no!… Read More
 “Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.†–Winnie the Pooh So Minimal, In Fact, That If My List Were Clothing You’d Be Reading This On A Nude Beach When was the last time you lost it? Not in a bad, “I’m going to kick holes in the wall because I’m angry, and this wallpaper needs to go†sort of way… Read More
If we look at our current culture, it is easy to point mental fingers at differences between prior generations and today. Unlike our mothers and grandmothers, we started yo-yo dieting as teenagers, and probably never stopped. We are the first long-term users of birth control pills. Our foods are laden with artificial ingredients and hormones, refined to death, and packaged… Read More
They wandered into the Full Moon restaurant with slow steps and fast smiles. Two elderly couples were enjoying a night out, and they could not have looked sweeter. Old love, the “we’ve been through the best and worst of times,†love is like that; I’m guessing. My husband, son, and I sat a table over from them, which only encouraged… Read More
It was a freak’n cold day. My husband had signed us up for the “55+” 4-Hour Defensive Driver Training class claiming it would be fun to do together. (Truthfully, he wanted to get the 10% discount on our insurance, but that man can spin a good story when necessary.) As soon as the alarm went off I checked our marriage… Read More
If Marcia Brady were estrogen, and sister Jan progesterone, the infamous line would still apply…â€Estrogen, Estrogen, Estrogen!†Estrogen embodies femaleness, it dominates, it ebbs, and it gets more than its fair share of press. Say the word “estrogen†in mixed company and the following will likely occur– women nod and men get twitchy. Progesterone, on the other hand, is somewhat… Read More
 “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.†― Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice It was… Read More
It’s confusing, isn’t it? The way our bodies change and seem to go rogue on us? As we age a baffling number of transformations occur and we scramble to figure out if they are normal, abnormal, or some sort of ancient curse unleashed when we touched that museum piece we weren’t supposed to touch. Where did that hair come from? Why is… Read More
She drifted over to my booth like a gentle breeze on an otherwise blustery day. “I want to buy one of your scarves,†she said. “I’ve walked around to the other vendors and believe yours are the best quality and style.†I was flattered, of course. Anita Regina Scepurek is a veteran artist and vendor. Her current media is fused glass,… Read More
My husband jabbed me in the ribs. “Check out Andy’s Christmas sweater!†We were sitting in church waiting for the choir to take their seats. My eyes followed my husband’s less than subtle, full arm extended, finger pointing. Andy sat facing the congregation. There was a suspicious gleam in his eyes…the gleam of a man delighting in the embarrassment he… Read More
“Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.†~George Burns Margaret is another example of an older woman who spent much of her adult life without a partner. She found love and marriage for the first time when she was forty years old. Margaret told me that once she laid eyes on Mike at a… Read More
“To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.†~Don Schrader Cats in Heat My grandmother thought pretty much everything humans did was a sin, particularly if gratification was involved. Had enough to eat? Sin. Have money? Sin. Saying, “I’m proud of the job I… Read More
“C’mere,” said my husband. “I have something to show you, and I know it will make you happy.” Normally when he says that it is accompanied by waggling eyebrows and a lecherous grin. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve seen THAT before,” I say. “Naw, not that. Come out to the workshop…” It turns out, like Christmas presents; love comes in all shapes… Read More
 Is it possible to have Easy-Bake Oven lust? Yes. Yes, it is. As a farm child, when the Sears Christmas catalog arrived in our mailbox, I was giddy with hope. The toys advertised, and advertised, and advertised during Saturday morning cartoons suddenly became possibilities on the pages of that slick and shiny book of endless desire. I was… Read More
