I went to a funeral on Friday.  Even now I’m trying to understand my feelings about attending, and why this internal conflict has rocked me a bit.  The woman, I’ll call her “Ann” for blog purposes, was someone I worked with many years ago. Ann began as a receptionist for the dental clinic soon after graduating from high school.  Her… Read More

Housing and Aging The steps in the houses they’re building today Are so high that they take… your breath all away. And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago. That should explain why my walking is slow. –R. Stewart  For some time now I’ve been having dreams about a house I’ve never seen in real life. It is… Read More

A drab, emotionless couple sat across from each other eating in silence.  Bite after bite of food was consumed, but no conversation or eye contact spiced up the meal.  Audrey Hepburn’s character, Joanna, looks at Albert Finney’s character, Mark, and says, “What kind of people just sit like that without a word to say to each other?”  He replies,  “Married… Read More

About two years ago a teacher at my college seemed distracted, but was trying her best to be present as our three hour class wore on. During the break I asked if there was something troubling her, and she shared that her mother was near death… but in many ways had left her long ago. Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease…. Read More

There was one parking spot left, and it wasn’t a good one.  I edged my car next to the mega-sized, mega-testosteroned truck–the one with the decal of a shapely woman submissively posed on all fours–and hoped there was room to open my door without chipping paint.  Ah, January, the month of inspired resolutions, too many new members at the workout… Read More

The old van, gears grinding and tires bald, struggled through deep ruts of rain soaked clay. The serpentine line of vehicles–barely moving–suggested the road ahead would not be any easier. Five American women, of which I was one, and our Chinese driver approached the Chinese guarded checkpoint with pseudo-calm. Beneath our facades of placid disinterest, we were churning. If we… Read More

My husband begged, bribed, and cajoled. While this may sound like a typical ending to our weekly date night, :), it was actually an event that happened many years ago. We were in full dating, pre-marriage, mode at the time, and he’d asked me to accompany him to see Les Miserables.  I was iffy about going. Not because I don’t… Read More

The organist, who teases the ivories with more enthusiasm than accuracy, begins the first few notes of Silent Night.  Voices…young, old, loud, soft, good, and bad… join in with a sweet sentiment the rest of the year lacks. I’m sitting in my childhood church surrounded by people I’ve known seemingly forever, and I can’t finish the first verse of Silent… Read More

Nutmeg.  Cinnamon.  Sugar.  The apple peelings curled around my paring knife, bleeding juice and leaving sticky fragrance on my hands.  I rolled the piecrust into two, thin, lopsided shapes as little puffs of flour dust settled everywhere.  It was mindless work, but I needed this routine, this place of comfort, as I processed the shootings at Sandy Hook. When I… Read More

Marriage is work, but it’s also play if you have the right partner.  Imagine how it must be for those who are married and who work together.  Romance at home has the potential to make the workspace a smile-fest, while a spat at home could turn hellish as you smile through gritted teeth at the office, factory, or stage.  Stage??… Read More

The clatter of metal pans, along with the haze of something heated beyond comfort, let me know what was happening in “my” kitchen… my husband was cooking.  I approached the room cautiously hoping to catch him in his hot dish mojo.  As expected, he was flitting from stove, to fridge, to sink.  The counter was buried beneath bags, boxes, bowls,… Read More

His steps were slow, as if lifting bricks instead of shoes, and he leaned just a bit on my brother’s arm. He wore a thin blue jacket and tried his darndest to stand straight and tall like the proud Norwegian of his youth. I stood at the front door watching his progress up the November slicked sidewalk with mixed emotions…. Read More

Taut flesh undulated beneath micro-mini dresses and silky cascades of perfectly coifed hair glistened beneath the spotlights.  A mixed-gendered crowd, watching the show, cheered and hooted. The row of performers, all young women, all with perfect smiles, bent over and then slowly slid their hands up toned legs. They eyed the audience and smiled seductively. As the rhythm of the… Read More

Be-be-be-be-be-be-be-beeeeeeeep! As soon as my son and I walked through the kitchen door our security system let me know it wasn’t happy. I quickly punched in our code only to have the system indignantly infer there was a problem with “area 9.” “Where the heck is area 9?” I wondered. Is that where the government keeps space aliens? I checked… Read More

Have you ever pulled a cake out of the oven thinking it was done, only to discover that beneath the seemingly baked crust flowed raw batter? Sometimes life’s hurts are like that too.  Outward appearances can fool a person into thinking the pain has healed, but a gentle prod here or there discovers the truth…there is still much that needs… Read More

The old house, grey and broken, hunched like a frail old spinster in its bramble, weeds, and grasses. The sky, a violent shade of black, had long ago given way to the full moon dusted by shadowy wisps of clouds. Each step I took towards the front door left me breathless. What awaited inside? Who awaited inside? I admit it…. Read More

“Why are you so unattractive?” “A woman your age should not wear that!” “Whoa! I’ve seen fewer wrinkles on a shar pei!” “With thighs like yours who needs enemies?” All of those unkind bullying statements are ones I’ve heard over the years. The sad thing is they didn’t come from other people, they came from me. Sadder yet, they were… Read More

“Mom! You’re such a little rebel!” My son, a man now in his early thirties, showed surprise and delight at the story I had just shared. At issue was the newly minted mandate, er, strong invitation, that congregation members at our church wear name tags. Personally, I detest those paper badges. They leave sticky residue on whatever I’m wearing, often… Read More

My husband has been seeing a nutritionist at Nutritional Weight and Wellness, and has had great results. He’s lost upwards of twenty pounds and has been able to go off of his blood pressure medications as well as his acid reflux meds. Todays e-newsletter contained an article I thought was too pertinent to not post here: Understanding Estrogen Dominance I’ve… Read More

I love it when a newspaper article evokes emotions. In fact, I love it that we still have big, floppy, spill your tea on, let the cat walk over the very paragraph being read, newspapers to read, but that’s a tangent for another day. Somewhere in yesterday’s Star Tribune there was an article written by a guy and dedicated to… Read More

Sometimes you just know. I saw the young couple in the grocery store, walking arm in arm, acting nonchalant.  And yet there was something about their body language that held my attention. I watched the woman veer off towards the bakery section of the grocery store while the young man browsed in the meat department. The woman’s eyes cut to… Read More

In one of those strange timing events, just as I pushed the red start button on my iced tea maker the phone rang. I jumped. Of course I know the iced tea maker doesn’t ring, but geez, that was weird. The call was from my doctor’s nurse, Kelly. She cheerfully gave me the results of my blood tests from last… Read More

                    Yep. Today was that day. I had to get naked, put on a gown that never really closes, and “relax” on the examination table like a plucked turkey ready to be stuffed for Thanksgiving. I like my doctor. She’s incredibly sensitive to the indignity of Pap Smears and the accompanying… Read More

                  “Honey I’m home!” Kisses and hugs occur at this time, followed by… “What did you do today?”  It is at such moments that I struggle to know what to say. I believe the common perception is that since I am a college student I sit around in my pajamas sipping tea… Read More

“What’s a bread box?” I still remember how shocked I was when a year or so ago my daughter asked me that question. In my youth we had a deluxe, double decker, metal bread box sitting on the counter filled with Wonder bread. By the way, the polka-dotted bags were not high on style but they made good boot liners…. Read More

  “You didn’t sleep well last night, did you?” said my husband during his usual lunch break phone call home. I hadn’t realized it was so obvious, and apologized for any loss of sleep my restless tossing had caused him. “I had a nightmare. Sorry.” It seemed like so little to say considering the depth of my reaction the night… Read More

My son eyed the huge triple-layer Dagwood sandwich and pondered how he would open his mouth wide enough to accommodate the first bite without dislocating his jaw.  Amused with his self-inflicted plight—hey, he ordered it—I turned my attention to the books lining the booths and walls of the restaurant. Whenever I visit this particular restaurant I always find an interesting… Read More

The church bulletin was a bit lacking in detail. In simple Times New Roman font it said that on Sunday, Aug. 5, Agape would be leading the church service. Who? Why? What’s an Agape? Upon arrival at the lakeside summer service I immediately noted the recorded music was a bit livelier than usual. Not that a “normal” service offers dark… Read More

  “That’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?” I turned to see who was talking to me and came face to face with a rather irate woman seemingly built to withstand windstorms. Her short grey hair and steely eyes made me want to stand a bit taller lest she knock me down with yet another withering stare. Okay, so I… Read More

  Miss Manners’ topic of the day was the stress of “monster showers.” A reader wrote saying she felt it was appropriate–not tacky– for the family to host a wedding shower for the bride-to-be since the cost of being a bridesmaid was skyrocketing. I’m paraphrasing the intent and content of the column, but the essence was disturbingly based on modern… Read More