I Lost AÂ Friend This Week
Not lost in the “where did I park my car†sense, but lost to cancer’s cruel give-and-take death grip. As my heart grieves her warmth, laughter, and open heart, I find a need to write down what she means to me. Not meant, means.
Dianne Aigaki came into my life unexpectedly, as so many gifts do. It was a dismal spring day, while interviewing Vicki Underland-Rosow for my Master’s Capstone Project, that the topic of Tibet came up. Vicki had traveled with Dianne to Ganzi, a Tibetan town in the Sichuan province, and then, “Oh, by the way, Dianne will be in town giving a presentation. Would you like to come?†I nodded yes, having no idea by doing so how my life would change in a matter of months.
There are times in my life when it feels as though some wild, albeit kindly, spirit inhabits my body and takes control. So it was on the night of the presentation. Normally a shy reticent person who can barely mumble whole sentences in front of strangers, I boldly walked up to Dianne and said, “How do Tibetan women deal with menopause?â€
Dianne looked at me in that wise appraising way I came to appreciate, and said, “Why don’t you come with me to Tibet and find out?†It wasn’t quite that clear and clean, but darn close. “Tibet? Me?†I thought. “Impossible.â€
The list of why I couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, materialized. After a few emails back and forth with Dianne, some serendipitous intervention found me packing my bags. In early July 2011, I kissed my husband goodbye and with shaky knees boarded a plane to China. I had never traveled alone before.
The time in China and Tibet was life altering and life affirming. Moments prior to the tours Dianne launched that summer the Chinese government shut down the borders into Tibet. Violent beatings imposed upon Tibetan nuns for peacefully protesting was not something they wanted the world to witness. Dianne, already weary from an earlier tour, continued to use her wits and inner-strength to find a way to get our group into Tibet.
With luck and daring we were able to sneak into Tibet under the guise of darkness, rain-drenched roads, and bribes. Sometimes when I think back on that night I’m surprised we made it. Death was inches away from a tire slipping over the edge of a slick, unfinished mountain road. Nonplussed despite the mounting odds against our success, Dianne kept us going.
This trip was never about her. It was about bringing awareness to the plight of the Tibetan people, to let us witness their lives under oppression, and to know grace under fire. We saw the land, ate the food, and held the friendly gazes of the Tibetan people. Nonetheless, by the end of our three weeks in a magical land, Dianne was weary beyond healthy standards. No matter. She had one more tour to do, and then she was done. Retired. Fini.
A year later she sent word she had landed in New Orleans. Feeling renewed, Dianne wanted to get back into the rhythms of her art and, along the way, share the highlights of New Orleans with anyone wanting another adventure. My husband and I signed on immediately.
The time in New Orleans was almost celebratory. The food, music, art, architecture, and ambiance echoed the smiles on Dianne’s face. This place elevated her, and acted as her muse. She told me of her search for the perfect home and studio. She wanted river views, dancing music, and life. We left her with hugs and the promise of connecting when she came to Minneapolis in a few months time.
It was not to be.
After a year of doctors, opinions, treatments, prayers, and unbound optimism, Dianne let go of this world and is undoubtedly well into exploration of the next.
The news of her loss ignited within me a myriad of dark sadness’s, but I know—in the intuitive places—her light is not diminished. Dianne Aigaki remains illuminated through the countless lives she bettered, her projects that improved any and all involved, and the beauty of her art.
I lost a friend this week. The world, by any measurement, lost one of the great ones.
Along The Road
-Dan Fogelberg
Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
Along the road your path may wander
A pilgrim’s faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Darkness obscures the trail
Cursing the quest
Courting disaster
Measureless nights forbode
Moments of rest
Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road
Along the road your steps may stumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way
Joy at the start
Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
Somewhere along the road
Somewhere along the road
Gail, you expressed your relationship with Dianne and what is on your heart so well. How lucky you and the world are that Dianne was here. Thank you!
And thank you, Claudia, for gently reminding me that grief equates to having experienced a special relationship. I do feel incredibly lucky Dianne was in my life, and considered me a friend.
Sending lots of hugs your way sis! So sorry to hear about your friend. She sounds like an amazing person and will always have a special place in your heart.
xoxo
L
Thank you Leah. We’ve both shared losses this year, and hold close the relationships and moments that uplift. As my friend Claudia reminded me, “How lucky are we to have had such special people in our lives?”
, This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chtioras and horses, and they will run in front of his chtioras. Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chtioras. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle and donkeys he will take for his own use. He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.
Thanks for the visit. I’d love to her more about your thoughts and less about your products.
🙂 Gail