My daughter and Amanda both sent me the following blog/article by Berry Liberman. My daughter wanted to know how I felt about it since it concerns aging. Here it is: Vanity is a funny thing. It’s based on comparison and as we all should know by now, comparison is the death of happiness. I met a beautiful girl the other… Read More

On Friday nights, in the warm months of Minnesota, I would walk down the gravel road to wait for my dad’s car to appear on the highway’s horizon. He was only home on weekends as his work in the construction trade took him to various locations throughout the state. Sitting in the grassy ditch gave me plenty of time to… Read More

The answer machine blinked…1…1…1…1. Having just returned from running errands in town I didn’t know what to do first—check the message, hug my just-arrived son, or extract Pudgy from my ankle. I selected hugging my son first. After some chit-chat with him I idly pressed the button to hear the message. “Mrs. Gates, this is the clinic calling. Your mammogram… Read More

As I mentioned in a previous post, our almost-daughter Amanda is now in New Zealand. She has been keeping a blog-journal that helps dissolve the miles and keeps us in touch. In her last post she mentioned how fascinated she is with how Americans are perceived in other cultures. In some incidences she has heard Americans are “uppity,” “over-weight,” and… Read More

Inside the orderly chaos of the old brick farm house’s entry, a box of black walnut shells waited further attention. A thick block of wood, a hammer, and a nut-pick sat next to a chair. I noted the gorgeous hues of brown on the broken shells and wondered how they might be used in a craft project. Ralph, the farm’s… Read More

I need help. Maybe even therapeutic-level help. For weeks I’ve been plotting and planning to take one day—just one teeny tiny day—all for myself during my Christmas break. I’d heard of the mythical pajama day and decided that might be worth trying. First question: Is there supposed to be a formula or structured non-structure on a pajama day? My fuzzy… Read More

“My back goes out more than I do.” “We can go upstairs, or we can make love, but I don’t have the energy to do both.” “My memory is so bad I’m constantly making new friends.” All these old smirkers have truth behind them, but focus on the not-so-fun aspects of aging. Why do we tend to hang on to… Read More

Muffled coughs punctuated the sounds of shuffling feet and rustling coats. Parishioners greeted each other with hardy back slaps or demure head nods. “Merry Christmas!” was voiced in tones of happy to robotic, yet everyone seemed caught in the celebratory mood. My husband and I stepped in line behind an elderly lady having a difficult time deciding on which pew… Read More

The assistant shuffled the papers and glanced at her watch. I would describe her as being in a distracted rush. “When did you say you were last in?” I cleared my throat and attempted a confident voice. “Ten years ago.” The words came out sounding almost nonchalant, but my brain was racing. I remembered back to my dental assisting days…. Read More

The man lay helplessly on the floor. He was disoriented and afraid. His brain was telling his body to get up and to get moving, but nothing was responding. “What’s wrong with me,” he thought. “Is this the beginning of a heart attack?” His wife slept peacefully just a whisper away on the bed. He could have called out for… Read More

Each year I face a dilemma– AKA–the Christmas letter. The strain and energy that goes into staring at the computer screen is like pushing a grocery cart of goodies through six inches of snow. Uphill. In a blizzard. Wearing flip-flops. Did I mention the cart has one bad wheel? What’s in the cart is great, but getting it from the… Read More

The stove timer went off just as I had thrust my hands in the sudsy dishwater. Of course. After a quick dry-off I donned oven mitts and pulled a sheet of fragrant chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. It was a cold day outside with big lazy snowflakes making sky-circles before coming to rest on the ground. I thought… Read More

The red and green construction paper squares dangled off the artificial Christmas tree like earrings on a sixth-grader… a bit too gaudy, a bit too big. I looked over the written gift requests on each decoration and frowned. Christmas has lost its spirit. Each year our church sponsors two gift drives. The first one is called Angel Tree and the… Read More

Okay. Maybe it’s not the penis, but a different aspect of the male appetite that I envy. Allow me to give an example. Today I went online and there was no shortage of advice on how to shed the potential calories stored after the Thanksgiving feast. Most of the accompanying photographs showed women running on treadmills or women drinking water… Read More

The following is a well-known poem by Maya Angelou. I thought, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would remind women to be thankful for all the gifts that make them a light in this world. I hope you enjoy the message as much as I do. Phenomenal Woman Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built… Read More

Om mani padme hum, Om mani padme hum. This past July when I was in Tibet I discovered a people who live their faith. It was a humbling thing to observe. My friend Khandro, who spoke almost no English, walked me through the circumnavigation of various Chortens, and guided me through a Tibetan monastery service which included going to the… Read More

The voice grew louder and angrier. Heads swiveled to see what the commotion was about, and then just as quickly looked away. The enraged shouting man was a veteran, and it was hard to know how to feel about his outburst. Last Friday was Veteran’s Day combined with the rare 11/11/11. My husband and I decided to stop at the… Read More

Our calendar looks like a graffiti artist went wild. Um, that artist would be me. Scribbled in red, green, and blue, I have attempted to make notes in those too-tiny day squares to remind me of upcoming events and deadlines. It would be fun to think I’m in control of all my time but…hahahahahaha. Invitations come in bursts and I… Read More

The wine glasses clinked from four directions and we said, “Here’s to new relationships!” My husband, our long-time friend and his new lady-friend, and I were enjoying a nice dinner. The point of the evening was to get better acquainted with this new woman in our friend’s life, and it was delightful to see the pink-tinged blush of discovery on… Read More

The pillow under my head was soft and fluffy, and the top sheet covered “certain” parts of my body. If it wasn’t for my bare back I would have been tempted to snuggle in and take a nap. Tempted, but not attempted. My husband had the video camera ready to roll as soon as Diane came into the room. He… Read More

The darkness veiled all but the most reflective surfaces… a glint of metal doorknob, the shiny buttons of a Teddy Bear’s eyes, a moonbeam splashed upon my bedroom windowsill. I scrunched down into the homemade quilts and pretended not to hear the rustling sounds coming through wall, but the muffled scrapes and bumps persisted. I was scared. My brothers had… Read More

“I can’t imagine anyone filling your shoes or bed,” I say to my husband. We stare hard into each other’s eyes and see only love. He nods, but I’m never quite sure of his response, or, non-response. It is a discussion we’ve had many times…what would we do if one of us were to die? Would we remain single in… Read More

The ink pen slashes across the words in the list. Done that, done that, haven’t done that. My day is composed of black and white scribbles posing as goals. Sometimes my list—endless lists—feels too controlled and too domesticated for the yearnings scratching in my soul. I remember, as a younger girl, responding to the need to get into nature. I… Read More

A large black and white photographic image of a male athlete perched atop a chair, ball like, brought to mind a trophy. His skin glowed with the waxed sheen of bronze and his muscles bulged and waned in clear definition against the strain of his position. It was a mesmerizing photograph, both confusing in form and intoxicating in depth. My… Read More

Sometimes I think the world moves on the energy of extroverts, but it is the introverts that silently plan the route and design the guardrails that keep us from falling off the edge. We need each other, but don’t understand each other. It’s like that in so many situations. Today I received my college midterm grade in one of my… Read More

Soft guitar strains tumbled on the breeze and landed in melodious plop, plop, plops over suits and dresses. The small group of attendees coughed, whispered, and shifted in varies levels of discomfort as they waited for the bride to appear at the top of the stairs. My niece—in her early thirties and unmarried—was seated directly in front of me offering… Read More

Two incidents came into view this week that concern our cultural perceptions of aging, behavior, and limitations. Both stories were meant to be humorous examples of old people acting inappropriately. But who decides the definition of “old,” and who decides what is inappropriate? The first story was in the Minneapolis Star Tribune newspaper under the “News of the Weird” column…. Read More

Booker, in the midst of an exuberant puppy leap, tackled a milkweed plant. The plant’s pod, which had been swaying in the breeze, burst open and released its fluffy down-like seeds to the world. Booker pounced again, took a bite, and shook his head in a killing frenzy. When he lifted his face it looked like he had a white… Read More

A reader asked me to write about the end of life paperwork my husband has been getting together “just in case.” Here are some of the general items we have lined up to make the surviving spouse’s situation a bit easier:  There is a list of names, addresses, and contact numbers. Somebody will need to get in touch with… Read More

One of my teachers told a story in class that has meaning to me. My teacher’s friend—I’ll call her Ann—was testing the faith waters. Ann felt somewhat alone in this world, and scoffed at the notion of a greater power interacting with her life. “If there is someone out there show me a sign and I’ll believe,” she said. “I’m… Read More