Cat Collusion: A Cover-up Worth Sharing

This cat gets around

“The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look

whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.”

—Paula Poundstone (comedian)

Cats. Love them or hate them, you have to admit they are interesting. Like, what on earth are you doing now, interesting. We live with two vastly different cat personalities, and it’s a nonstop show.

Pudgy, our rescue cat from a barn in Verona, Wisconsin, is the mastermind. She knows things. Good things, sure, but mostly things that will test me in some form. For instance, just this morning I caught her peeing on the wool rug in the dining room. Whyyyyyyyy? We keep two litter boxes in the house, one of which has expensive “Cat Attract” litter material. Pudgy could care less. Give her a nice wool rug and her bladder runneth over. I should invest in BUBBAS, Super Strength Commercial Enzyme Cleaner-Pet Odor Eliminator. Gallon Size Enzymatic Stain Remover-Remove Dog-Cat Urine Smell From Carpet, Rug Or Hardwood Floor And Other Surfaces. I am constantly buying it on Amazon.

Giese. After my father had died we rescued her from his soon-to-be-sold farm. Her mom, a total hussy, took off with a roaming tomcat, leaving baby Giese to fend for herself. Giese is sweet, calm, and easily duped. No malice exists within her. She’s not a big thinker. However, she is a big eater. I figure life handed her a tough start, so if kibble compensates, meh.

The two cats are not exactly sistah’s. Pudgy sorta-kinda tolerates Giese as long as there is no touching, sniffing, or food sharing. I think if things were different poor motherless Giese would cuddle with Pudgy, but it ain’t’ going to happen.

Which brings me to my story. I was working on my computer when Pudgy strolled into the room. She knocked down a plastic shopping bag hanging from the doorknob. I noticed but didn’t really care. At least I didn’t have to clean up pee.

Pudgy wiggled her way into the bag to see if it would catch my attention. When it didn’t, she quickly became bored and jumped on my desk. She paw-slapped a couple of paper clips on the floor, gave me a “take that” glare, and settled in for a nap.

Shortly afterward Giese came through the door. She looked at Pudgy, and then she looked at me. Two seconds later she hoarked up about a pound of kibble. At least Giese had the decency to seem embarrassed.

The sound of vomit hitting hardwood woke Pudgy. She blinked owlishly a couple of times and then peered down at Giese and the lava-flow of kibble. To my surprise, she jumped off the desk, sniffed the puke, and then moved the plastic shopping bag on top of the offending mass. The two cats stood for a moment and then walked away as though nothing had happened.

BUBBAS, Super Strength Commercial Enzyme Cleaner-Pet Odor Eliminator. Gallon Size Enzymatic Stain Remover-Remove Dog-Cat Urine Smell From Carpet, Rug Or Hardwood Floor And Other Surfaces? The best part of my day.